A Memory's Just a Memory, After All
by SpookyClaire
Summary: Ever-So-Slightly AU. What happens when Shawn's abusive ex-boyfriend gets out of jail and isn't too fond of Shawn's current boyfriend? Shassie and Shawn Whump!
1. Chapter 1

**A Memory's Just a Memory, After All**

**Summary**: [(Ever-So-Slightly AU.)] What happens when Shawn's abusive ex-boyfriend gets out of jail and isn't too fond of Shawn's current boyfriend? Shassie and Shawn Whump!

**Warnings**: Domestic Violence, Attempted Rape, Bad Words

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Damn Steve Franks…

**Pairings**: Shassie (Shawn/Lassiter), Gules (Gus/Jules) – both established relationships

**Note**: Hey Psych-o's! I'm back with another Psych story! I hope you all love this as much as my last fic, because that was the warmest reception I've ever gotten for any of my work. I love ya'll! :D

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 1**

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Lassiter lovingly stroked Shawn's sweaty hair. The two sat on the back of an ambulance, Shawn wrapped up like a borrito in the bed quilt and his head on Lassiter's shoulder as he shivered. The pseudo-psychic had been pretty sick, his fever hadn't gone below 102 in the past three days. Thankfully as they sat here it was at its lowest yet, 101.6. But then again, this was the first time he had seen medical attention – seeing as he'd just been in a burning building.

At the thought Lassiter tightened his hold on his lover. He had only gone to the precinct to pick up some files and promised to only be gone for an hour, he'd told Shawn just to sleep. Lassiter made it to the precinct without any problems, and he'd been gone for maybe twenty minutes when his cell phone rang. At seeing the ID he picked up quickly.

"_Hey you, need something?" _

"_Lassie." The husky lost-but-still-trying-to-use-it voice sounded panicked. _

"_Shawn, what's wrong?" He asked, suddenly worried. Juliet looked up from her desk at that. _

"_Someone was here." He slurred, "Broke in. Ah think…think kitchen's on fire."_

And that was all Lassiter needed to get more backup than needed, an ambulance, and two fire trucks over there in five minutes. Now here they sat on the back of an ambulance, having already given their statements, as firemen and policemen all walked to and from the no longer burning one-story house that Lassiter used to share with his wife but now currently lived in with his boyfriend. Their neighbors were standing behind the yellow tape, some giving statements and some just standing there in their pajamas with worried looks on their faces.

"Looks like the kitchen is the only room that sustained any damage. Doesn't look like a cooking mishap, either. Looks intentional." Lassiter could hear the fire chief telling his chief and partner. "We found a charred lighter. Doubt you'll find anything on it."

"We're going to check anyway." The chief sounded almost venomous. She let out a quick sigh before adding, "Someone broke into the house just to set it on fire? O'Hara, was anything missing at all?"

"Carlton said just some pictures, along with souvenirs from vacations – nothing of monetary value." Juliet piped in, and Lassiter couldn't help but smile at her choice of words. Nothing of _monetary_ value. "It looks like Shawn and Carlton were specific targets." He could almost see the shiver that ran through her voice.

"I was afraid of that." Vick seemed to whisper.

He was pulled from his eavesdropping as a shiver wracked Shawn's body. "You ok there?" Lassiter asked quietly, as his rubbed his arm up and down Shawn's quickly, trying to generate heat.

"M'jus cold." His husky, barley-there voice cracked as he spoke.

"Don't worry we'll go ho—somewhere. As soon as they let us."

"Shawn!" Two familiar voices cried in unison. Shawn took no notice, but Lassiter looked up.

"Henry, Gus." He said, with a nod to the cop who was holding them back.

"What happened?"

"Someone broke in while Shawn was sleeping. They stole some personal items and…and set the kitchen on fire." Lassiter was trying to keep himself steady, for Shawn and his family (because _yes_, Gus was his family), but it was only then hitting him. "I…I was only gone for twenty minutes." He all but whispered.

"It's not your fault, Carlton." Henry said, his voice filled with rage, but not at his son's boyfriend.

"Someone was targeting Shawn?"

"Both of them." The retired officer said with such certainty that you would think _he_ was the officer in charge.

"Who the hell would want to do that?"

"We're going to see how many people either of them put away have been released," Came the new voice of Juliet from behind them. Gus turned, and upon seeing the mirrored look of worry on her face, he took her hand and squeezed.

"Ah w'nna go home." Shawn mumbled from Lassiter shoulder, tugging on his boyfriend's arm in his half-asleep state.

Lassiter seemed to melt at that. "Once we figure out what home is at this moment, we'll go there."

"Carlton, of _course_ you two will be coming home with me." Henry said, almost in awe that Lassiter didn't know that already.

Lassiter looked up and gave a Henry warm smile, one that most would not think him capable of if they knew him before he met Shawn. "Thank you, Henry."

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Lassiter sat at the kitchen table of the Spencer house, sipping at his tepid coffee. He was trying to think of someone who'd want to do this to them. As far as he knew, no one Shawn put away was out, some he put away were out but they had been for a long while now. What would be the point of attacking now? But he had Buzz checking their alibis for the night, just to be safe.

But if they had prepared as much as it seemed they did why not make sure Lassiter was there with Shawn, too? Did that make Shawn the only physical target? Lassiter shivered at the thought.

"Can't sleep?" Lassiter jumped, and cursed his cop-senses for not being on tonight.

"Not too much." He sighed as the elder Spencer took the seat next to him.

"It really wasn't your fault, Carlton."

Lassiter looked up at the ex-detective and gave a sad, forced smile. "You keep telling me that…"

"Because it's _true_. It's like when Shawnie was a kid. When he didn't get something the first time I just kept repeating it until it stuck." He smiled genuinely and Lassiter let out a single laugh.

"Seems things haven't changed."

This time Henry laughed too, "With Shawn, things never will."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment before Lassiter broke it. "I could have lost him tonight. _We_ could have lost him tonight." Henry just nodded. "Is this what it feels like to be the family of a cop?" He almost whispered, and with a small smile Henry just nodded again. "Maybe I should quit." Both men laughed softly, before Lassiter stopped and looked to the doorway. Henry turned and saw his son standing there. For a moment Henry flashed on when Shawn was a nine-year-old in his Thunder Cats pajamas, standing in the doorway saying _"Dad…I had a bad dream."_

"What are you doing up, Shawn?" Lassiter asked, starting to stand.

"Had a bad dream." Henry bit back a rueful laugh.

Shawn came over and took a seat next to Lassiter. "You're looking better." His boyfriend commented and Shawn merely shrugged as the older man placed his hand on Shawn's forehead. "Yea, your fever is definitely down."

"Mmm, feeling better." He said as he swallowed the rest of Lassiter's coffee. The head detective lovingly ran his hand down the back of Shawn's head before letting his arm wrap around Shawn's shoulders.

"Wanna talk about that dream?"

"I…I dunno. It's just at one point, when I was back at the house, I saw the guy in the doorway of the bedroom. And I just thought…well, no. I didn't think I knew him. My dream just morphed it so I thought I knew him." He rambled on. Lassiter would have smiled at how, yes, he was indeed feeling better, if Shawn wasn't so distressed sounding.

"Who'd you think it was?" It was Henry who asked, and Shawn seemed to send his father a silent message, Henry's eyes widened and Shawn nodded, looking more distressed now than when he'd been standing in the doorway.

"_Derek_?" Henry snarled the name as if it was acid in his mouth. Shawn nodded, looking away.

"Who's Derek?" Lassiter asked, feeling completely lost.

"Old boyfriend." Shawn whispered, still not looking up.

"Yea, boy_friend_." Henry snarled again, this time a bit sarcastically, and Shawn seemed to flinch at that. "He's in jail, Shawn, he can't get you." He said more gently, and Lassiter had to suppress a confused gasp.

At seeing how much it was torturing Shawn, Lassiter didn't want to press it, but still wanted to know why the fuck this man was scaring Shawn so badly when he wasn't even there. Sensing the older man's confusion Shawn looked up at him. "Derek, uh…he was, well…"

"Derek was abusive." Henry said quietly, the rage radiating off of him.

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_Henry sat on his porch, and sighed happily, the warm evening air contenting him. He almost expected something to come and ruin it, particularly his twenty-two-year-old. He jumped slightly when the phone rang. _Man, I must be psychic,_ he thought to himself as he reached inside the open window to grab the phone from where it sat. "Hello?" _

"_Dad?" Henry's happy mood came to a screeching halt at how much panicked terror was packed into that one word. _

"_Shawn? What's wrong?" _

_His son let out a choked sob and said again, "Dad…oh god, dad." He sounded to be almost hyperventilating. _

"_Shawn, Shawn listen to me. Take deep breaths ok. In…out, ok? Good." Shawn calmed down after a few seconds. "Shawnie, where are you?" _

"_Dad, can I come over?" _

"_Of course, Shawn, you don't need to ask. But what-?" The line went dead. Henry sat there for about ten panicked minutes wondering what could possibly be bothering his son so much. Think, Henry, where was he tonight–_

Derek.

_Shawn had been at his boyfriend Derek Singer's house that night. To say that Henry hated his son's boyfriend would be a _major_ understatement. Henry saw the look in his boy's eye whenever his boyfriend was mentioned. It wasn't love or affection. Hell, it wasn't any form of joy at all. It was _fear_. No matter how well his son masked it, Henry could see it. _

_That and the bruises. _

_The bruises shaped like hands that _covered_ Shawn. He thought no one saw them, that no one knew. But not only did Henry notice it, so did a panicked Gus. _

_Henry was pulled from his angry thoughts at the sound of his son's motorcycle pulling onto the street. Before he could blink Shawn had pulled into the driveway, his helmet in hand, as he ran up the porch, his face drenched in tears. _

"_Shawn." Henry stood, carefully taking his son's shoulders. "Shawn, what happened?" Shawn shook his head franticly, "Son, tell me, please." _

"_I—I told him no, dad. Please believe me, I told him no." Shawn begged, looking into his father's eyes as tears streamed down his face and his helmet crashed to the porch, neither taking notice. Henry had to fight off the urge to throw up. _

"_Shawn, please tell me he…he _didn't_?" Henry practically begged and his son shook his head fiercely._

"_I hit him. Kicked him as hard as I could and ran. He—he was so mad…" Shawn whispered, more tears forming. _

"_Oh, oh god, Shawn…" Henry could feel his heart break, though the relief that his son hadn't actually been raped practically made him crash to the ground like the helmet. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around his son, and under any normal circumstances Henry knew Shawn would have pushed Henry away in mock disgust, but tonight his son just sobbed into his dad's shoulder. "It's ok, Shawn, I won't let him touch you ever again-" Henry's promise was cut off as another vehicle pulled into the driveway. _

"_Shawn!" cried the driver as they got out of the car. Shawn let out a small panicked sound as Henry let him go and took a step in front of him. _

"_Derek." He snarled at the dark skinned man with the obviously broken nose and swelling eye – _Good job, son, _he thought – standing at the bottom of his steps. _

"_Mr. Spencer, no offence, but this doesn't concern you." _

"_Derek, no offence, but __**get the fuck off my property**__." _

"_Look, whatever he told you, it's not true." _

"_That sounds pretty guilty to me." _

"_He over reacted."_

"_Over rea—are you shitting me?"_

"_Shawn, just come and talk to me." At being addressed Shawn shrank into his father's back, like he did when he was a scared child. _

"_Go inside, Shawn." Henry ordered softly and Shawn seemed to pause for a moment, before opening the door. _

"_Shawn!" Derek called, and that seemed to put Shawn on fast forward as he jumped, rushed inside, and slammed the door. Derek took a step forward, but Henry quickly stopped him. _

"_I'd re-think that idea, boy. You forget, I'm armed."_

_Derek paused at that, then started to walk back to his car. "Tell Shawn I'll call him tomorrow." _

"_Get the fuck out of here!" Henry snarled so venomously that the boy seemed to panic slightly when the cop took a step forward. Derek pulled out and sped away. _

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_So, what did ya'll think? Hope you enjoyed my newest WIP!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_-claire_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Memory's Just a Memory, After All**

**Warning**: Domestic Violence, Mention of Attempted Rape, Bad Words

**Pairings**: Shassie and Gules – both established relationships.

**Note**: Please note, I have no legal knowledge. I tried to look some stuff up, but if what I wrote is totally implausible, please tell me what would be more accurate and I will fix it. Thank you!

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**Chapter 2**

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When Lassiter awoke the next morning it took him a moment to remember where the hell he was, but then it all came crashing back. Shawn being sick. Him going to get some files. The call. The fire. Not being able to sleep. Henry. Shawn…Shawn. _Derek_.

As the name of the man he never knew but wanted to _rip apart with his bare hands_ came to mind, he tightened hold of the short man in his arms – only just realizing he was there. It felt so right for him to be there that he didn't even give it any thought anymore. It felt strange – _wrong_ – when Shawn _wasn't_ in his arms.

When his hold tightened, Shawn snuggled closer as if trying to bury himself into Lassiter's chest. He looked like a small child seeking comfort. That really was Shawn…a child. Lassiter wouldn't have him any other way.

"Carlton, you're awake."

Lassiter looked up to see Henry looking similar to the way he had been the night before: in his pajamas, glasses on, and bags under his eyes. "Morning, Henry."

"Gus and Juliet are gonna be over in a bit, I'm making breakfast. Ya' want coffee?"

"Coffee would be fantastic." Lassiter smiled as he carefully pulled his arms from around his lover, pulling the blanket up over him. Lassiter exited Shawn's childhood room and followed Henry down to the kitchen.

"Did he sleep any better after we talked?"

"Yea, he did. Surprisingly. Lord knows I didn't."

Henry got a sympathetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Carlton. I shouldn't have told you about-"

"No, no, I needed to know about it." Lassiter nodded, waving away the older man's apology. "I need to know what nightmares I'm going to be protecting Shawn from."

Henry looked down and smiled slightly. "I'm glad he has you, Carlton. You are the best thing that's happened to him since Gus."

Lassiter laughed a bit, "Wow, that's a steep compliment." Henry laughed in return, saying nothing more as the two reached the kitchen. Lassiter took in the welcoming scent of breakfast foods and coffee. There was already bacon and scrambled eggs sitting on the table, as well as a jug of orange juice. There was a plate of toast on the counter and it smelled like Henry was making some kind of omelet. "Wow, Henry, this looks _great_."

The father shrugged, "I haven't had the chance to make breakfast for people other than myself in a while. I decided to go all out." He gestured to the stove where he was making the omelet, "Making Shawn his favorite – pineapple omelets. Assuming he's up to eating it."

"When is Shawn not up to eating something with pineapple in it?" Lassiter joked, but then something clicked, "Wait, a _pineapple_ omelet?"

Henry nodded, "Sounds sick right?" Lassiter didn't even need to respond to that, "I agree, but that boy loves them…" Lassiter didn't get the chance to comment on his boyfriend's odd taste in food as there was a knock at the door. "Oh, that must be Gus and Juliet. Will you let them in?"

Lassiter nodded and as he walked to the door he realized he was still in his pajamas (which consisted of a simple pair of gray sweat pants and a black t-shirt). _Oh well_, he thought. He didn't look _too_ awful. And Gus and Juliet had seen him in worse. Opening the door he smiled warmly at the couple. "Hey guys, come in, Henry's making enough food for a block party so I hope you're hungry."

The two smiled warmly at the head detective, "Good, Gus has done nothing but complain about being hungry the whole way here."Juliet joked, a smile on her tired, tired face.

"I did not!" He cried as he stepped inside and shut the door.

"Oh right, you complained about being tired too. Sorry." Gus rolled his eyes and Juliet grinned playfully.

"Hey guys," Henry greeted the two warmly as he walked out of the kitchen, "Breakfast is ready if you want to dig in."

"Where's Shawn?"

"Still asleep."

"No I'm not." The foursome turned to see Shawn stepping off the last step, rubbing his eyes and running as hand through his messy hair.

"You look better than you did yesterday." Gus commented, looking his friend over.

Shawn blinked and then eyed his best friend, "I'm not sure if that's an insult since I just rolled out of bed and look like crap, or if you're being serious."

Gus shrugged, "A bit of both."

"How can it be both?" Gus opened his mouth to respond but stopped when Shawn started sniffing the air, "Is that a pineapple omelet I smell?" And with that he made his way into the kitchen, ending the banter. Gus rolled his eyes again as Juliet got a disgusted look on her face.

"A _pineapple_ omelet?"

Lassiter shook his head, "Don't ask."

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After they ate breakfast Shawn had laid down on the couch and fallen asleep, still wiped from not only being sick, but also getting only a few hours of sleep the night before. The other four inhabitants of the house stayed in the kitchen, Lassiter standing in the doorway so he could watch Shawn sleep.

"So, do you have any leads?" Henry asked now that Shawn wasn't there to hear the conversation.

Juliet got a glum look on her face – everyone had been in such a good, joking mood during breakfast despite the situation. They had joked and ate and just enjoyed each other's company. But now they had to get down to business, and none of them really enjoyed the topic. "Nothing. Buzz, Jacobs, Anders and I searched all night, making calls and running searches. No one Shawn caught is out, everyone Lassiter's caught has an alibi…I mean, we have no leads. Unless Shawn can think of anyone he's pissed off we're at a dead end."

Gus sighed and shook his head. "Shawn's pissed off a lot of people, but no one enough to want to kill him. Or, at least, no one _not_ in jail that would want to kill him."

"How do you know?" Henry asked worriedly, "Maybe there's a story Shawn hasn't told you."

Gus bit his lip. He looked upset, just as they all felt. "God damn it!" He growled in a very un-Gus-like way, "I just want to find whoever did this so they can never do it again." The room was silent for a long moment after that.

Finally, Lassiter turned from Shawn for the first time since the psychic had gotten on the couch. He glanced from Henry to Gus to his partner. "Juliet," He started, "Did you get my laptop?" After the whole ordeal the house had been a crime scene, so Juliet had gone inside to get them some clothes. Lassiter had not thought to ask for his laptop until he was already at Henry's.

"Oh!" She said, nodding. "Yea, I left it in the car. Hang on." She went from the room, Lassiter watched her until he felt eyes on him. He turned to see Henry staring at him, eyes narrowed.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. Lassiter merely gave him a confused look. "I can tell by the look in your eye, you've got an idea. What is it?"

Lassiter just shook his head, "It's nothing, Henry. I just wanted to get some work done. Don't worry about it." But the still narrowed eyes told the head detective that the father was not about to do that.

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Lassiter didn't touch his laptop all day, half because Shawn was actually awake for most of it and half because he didn't want Henry to know what he was going to search.

Around noon Juliet had to leave to go back to the station to work on the case some more. But Gus stayed and the four men spent the day chatting, watching TV, and trying desperately not to think of why Juliet wasn't there with them. They all ate dinner together, and the sun was set by the time Gus left, promising to be back the next day. Henry proclaimed he was off to bed early, since he had gotten virtually no sleep the previous night. Shawn, despite all the naps he'd unintentionally taken during the day, was tired as well and kissed Lassiter goodnight before heading upstairs. Lassiter had kissed him back, promising to be up in a moment.

With the two Spencers upstairs, Lassiter listened for a long moment, waiting to hear any movement. When there was none for several minutes, he grabbed his laptop and snuck out onto the front porch. He sat in one of the wicker chairs and turned on his laptop. Once on, he logged into the police database and looked up Derek Singer. He saw that Derek had originally been in Santa Barbara's penitentiary, but had been transferred to a low security prison in Arizona. Lassiter wondered to himself why that was, and quickly slipped his cell phone from his pocket. He quickly punched in the phone number on his screen.

"Bullhead City Prison, Officer Bently speaking." A surprisingly perky voice came from the other end. It reminded Lassiter a lot of Buzz.

"This is Head Detective Carlton Lassiter of the Santa Barbara Police Department, badge number four-two-four. I have some questions about one of your prisoners."

There was a pause, and the sound of typing, and then the voice was back. "Sure thing, Detective. What can I do for you?"

"What can you tell me about a Derek Singer?"

There was more typing. "Ah. Derek Singer. He was born on November 7, 1975. He is thirty five years old. He graduated from-"

"I don't need his whole file." Lassiter said quickly. "Just tell me about his arrest."

"Of course, sir…Mr. Singer was arrested in Santa Barbara on March 13, 2001 for attempted rape and sexual assault, and attempted murder." Lassiter stopped breathing for a moment, _attempted __**murder**_? "There was a call for charges of domestic violence, but the judge threw them out because they were a gay couple." Lassiter resisted the urge to ask who the judge was, he knew if he found out he'd kill him. "Singer was found guilty of the first count, but not the second. He was originally at Santana Barbara Penitentiary, but he was transferred here due to concerns for his safety. He-"

"Concerns for his safety?"

"Yes, it says here the reason is…his victim was a SBPD Detective's son, so the prison officers had not taken too kindly to him."

_Damn straight they didn't_, Lassiter thought. "Ok, sorry, keep going."

"No problem, sir. All right…he was sentenced to fifteen years, but was released this year for good behavior."

Lassiter's heart felt like it was set on fire, "I'm sorry, what? He was released?"

"Yes sir, about three months ago."

"Three months ago?" Lassiter had to stop himself from yelling, he didn't want Henry or Shawn hearing. "Why was Sh—the victim not notified?" Lassiter cringed at the word 'victim.'

"He wasn't notified?"

"No!" Lassiter whisper-yelled. "Isn't that in your file?"

"It says here the victim _was_ notified."

"He wasn't. He—he works with me. I _know_ he wasn't notified."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry sir. I wasn't at this prison at that time. I could find one of my superiors-"

"No. No, that's fine. Just…where is he now?"

"Mr. Singer?" More typing. "It says here he lives in Sedona."

"Sedona? He's nowhere near Santa Barbara? Did he take a trip? Miss any check-in's with his parole officer?"

"No, sir. His parole officer filed his check in of last week, he is still in Sedona."

Lassiter bit his lip, _if he's on file, it couldn't have been him…_ "Thank you officer, you were very helpful."

"No problem, Detective!"

_Well…it couldn't have been that dirt bag…but…_ "This is just _way_ too much of a coincidence." He thought aloud.

"What's too much of a coincidence?" Lassiter jumped and slammed his laptop closed.

"Henry!" He cried, surprised not only by his presence, but also by the fact he had honestly been expecting Shawn.

"What were you doing, Carlton?"

"Nothing, Henry." Lassiter said quickly, slipping his phone back into his pocket and standing, laptop secure under his arm. Henry just narrowed his eyes, as he had before. Lassiter now suddenly understood Shawn's fear of angering his father. Henry was kind of scary when he was this suspicious.

"Nothing, huh? Then why were you on the SBPD database just now?"

"I-I wasn't—I was just-"

"Uh-huh." Henry said with a raised eyebrow before sitting down, Lassiter soon doing the same. "Looking up Derek?"

Lassiter looked down at his lap. "I just…you know…wanted to check him out."

Henry nodded and looked out to the quiet sea. "Understandable." They sat in silence for a moment before the father asked, "So, find anything interesting?"

Lassiter quickly shook his head, "Uh-no. No I didn't."

"You're a horrible liar." Henry rolled his eyes. "Did you see the…the charges?"

Lassiter nodded and looked down. Even as he was reminded of the horrible things he had heard, he realized that Henry was unaware that Derek was out of prison. He couldn't let the father know that and be forever worried, especially if Derek had nothing to do with it. He'd have to keep it to himself…for now.

"I did." Lassiter finally responded quietly, "I…attempted murder? What did he do?"

Henry just shook his head, a look of pure disgust on his face. "I think that's probably Shawn's place to tell you." Lassiter just nodded, looking out to towards the sea as well, eyes glassy. "Just…don't push him, ok? Last time people starting pushing him about it…he ran away for almost two years." Lassiter's eyes widened and he nodded. He couldn't lose Shawn over this. He wouldn't.

Even if it meant he had to find this fucker and kill him himself.

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_So, what did ya'll think of this one? I hope you liked it!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_-claire_


	3. Chapter 3

**A Memory's Just a Memory, After All**

**Warning**: Domestic Violence, Mention of Attempted Rape, Bad Words

**Pairings**: Shassie and Gules – both established relationships.

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**Chapter 3**

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It really pained him, but the next morning Lassiter left Shawn's side. He kissed his boyfriend goodbye and promised to be back in a bit. Granted, he didn't leave until Gus was there, and Henry was there anyway, so it wasn't like he was leaving him alone in a fire pit. He was just heading to the station to talk to Juliet and get some other things done.

It wasn't a lie. He _was_ going to talk to Juliet. He just failed to mention what they were going to talk _about_.

He got there pretty fast, pulling his car into its normal spot. He nodded to some officers as he walked in, ignoring the looks in their eyes. Immediately his eyes settled on his partner and he made a bee-line for her desk. As he passed his own, he grabbed his chair and rolled it next to her. Falling into it he quietly, but urgently, said "Juliet."

She jumped at his entrance, "Carlton." She gasped in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." From the look on his face, she didn't even need to ask what it was about.

"What happened?" She spoke quietly, but held the same urgent tone he did.

Lassiter bit his lip for a long moment, but finally spoke, "Ok, this is something really personal for Shawn, so really I shouldn't be telling you this, but it might have to do with who set the fire. Don't let either of the Spencer's know I told you this, ok?" Juliet's eyes widened, but she nodded. Lassiter dove right in, rattling off everything like he was reading a file. He knew if he thought about what he was saying he would lose it. "Ok…well, about eight years ago, Shawn had this boyfriend, and he was abusive. His name was Derek Singer. Henry and Shawn pressed charges and he was arrested for…for sexual assault and attempted murder." Juliet gasped, but Lassiter pressed on, _don't think about what you're saying_, he ordered himself. "He got fifteen years for assault, but he was found not guilty for the attempted murder."

Juliet found herself fighting off tears, "What…what does this have to do with the fire?" She asked quietly.

"Ok, see, the night it happened, Henry, Shawn and I couldn't sleep. We were all talking, and Shawn said he couldn't sleep because he'd had a nightmare. He said he thought he saw Derek in the house right before the fire, but he was thinking it was just a dream. So then I looked the case up and found all this out. According to the jail files he's been out for three months."

"Why was he released?" Juliet cried, quickly lowering her voice when others glanced their way. "The attack was on a _cop's son_, how could they let that kind of person go?"

Lassiter growled to himself, no longer able to stave back the emotions. "Apparently, they tried to have him charged for domestic violence too, but the Judge wouldn't allow it since they were a homosexual couple. I'm thinking the people working his case didn't care too much about justice."

"What? Who was the judge?"

"I didn't ask. I knew if I found out…" Lassiter couldn't even finish his sentence, Juliet just nodded in understanding. The head detective quickly pressed on, "Anyway, is it just me, or is it far too big a coincidence that there's an attack on Shawn right after the guy who tried to kill him gets out of jail?"

Juliet nodded her head furiously, "Has he missed any meetings with his parole officer?"

Lassiter shook his head, "No, that's the thing. He's made all his checks, even one last week. But this just is far too big a lead to let go. But I'm not allowed to touch this case-"

"I'll do some digging for you." Juliet said, stopping him before he even had to ask. He smiled, and opened his mouth to thank her, but a new voice stopped him.

"Detective, what exactly do you think you're doing here?"

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Shawn lay sprawled out on the couch, half paying attention to the movie he and Gus had put in. Illness wise, Shawn was feeling a lot better. He didn't feel nauseous, he wasn't hot or cold, and he could actually keep down his food. Though he still felt a bit shaky, so he spent most of his time lying down.

"How can she _not_ notice that Prince Ali is _identical_ to Aladdin?" Gus asked sounding almost outraged as he threw a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

"Mmm." Shawn replied, not even really comprehending what Gus had just said. His mind was too wrapped up in his nightmare.

If Shawn could rely on _anything,_ it was his eyesight, which is why he was so unnerved by what he had seen the night of the fire. He knew it wasn't possible, it couldn't have been Derek standing in the door.

_The smell of smoke was filling his nose, it was the first thing he'd smelled in a few days. Shawn lazily lifted his head and glanced towards the door. He blinked furiously as someone appeared in the doorway. _

"_Lassie?" He squeaked, his voice barely usable. _

_The face was coming into focus, and Shawn could make out a familiar smile. A familiar, terrifying smile. The man in the door waved before he disappeared. Shawn felt himself starting to hyperventilate. No_ way_ he'd seen what he thought he saw. There was no way. _

_With a burst of adrenalin, Shawn grabbed the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. _

"I don't care what anyone says, Raja is creepy." Shawn was taken from his thoughts by another one of Gus' commentaries.

_There's no way it was Derek_, Shawn thought. _He's in jail, it's not possible that it was him. You would have heard if he was out, so just calm down and get over it. _

"You ok, Shawn?" Shawn turned to his best friend who was no longer watching the Disney movie but was watching him.

"Yea, buddy. I'm fine, I just zoned out for a minute. What part are we at?"

"A whole new world." Gus grinned, and Shawn forced a grin back, turning to stare at the screen.

_He's in jail. You're safe. It was only a dream._

But was that really true? Shawn wasn't really sure anymore.

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"Chief, I swear, I'm not-"

"You think you can just use your name and status to get information without me knowing about it?"

"Chief, I wasn't-"

"Detective I _know_ what you were doing. I was told what you were looking up." Lassiter froze, eyes wide. Juliet, beside him, looked similar. "I already knew of Mr. Spencer's past." She sighed, her look softening, "I was a detective when it originally happened. I followed the whole case, I even took on Henry's caseload so he could be there for Shawn. Looking Derek up was the first thing I did when I got here after the fire."

"So you saw – he was released!" Lassiter blurted out. "You can't deny this is far too big a coincidence."

The Chief sighed and nodded, "I will concede that this is rather suspicious. But I can't do anything about it without any evidence."

"Shawn thought he saw Derek in the doorway."

Vick's eyes widened, "What? Why didn't he think to tell us this?"

"Because he's convinced it was just a dream, I mean, they didn't even tell Shawn Derek was released so to him it makes no sense that it would be him."

Vick's eyes narrowed at that, "Wait, what? His files say he _was_ informed."

Lassiter shook his head, "Shawn and Henry told me about Derek the night of the fire. Henry even said to Shawn that Derek was in jail. Neither of them are aware that piece of _shit_ is out."

Vick didn't even bother reprimanding her Detective's language, "Well – we have to tell them." She said, still looking surprised that they were not informed.

"No!" Lassiter said quickly, making the two women jump. "Shawn can barely sleep as it is, telling him Derek's out is gonna make everything ten times worse – and what if Derek doesn't even have anything to do with the fire?" But even as he said it, they could tell Lassiter didn't believe that last sentiment.

Vick sighed and slowly sat herself down in her chair, thinking deeply. "Alright, here's what we are going to do. Detective O'Hara and I will do some more digging on Mr. Singer, and we're going to keep it to ourselves. Detective Lassiter, you are going to stay with Mr. Spencer, both because you're _supposed_ to be on vacation, and at least this way he'll have some more protection should something happen." Vick said, referring to the two officers she had stationed outside the Spencer home.

Lassiter nodded, biting his lip. "Thank you, Karen." He said sincerely, and she smiled at him.

"Just doing what should be done, Detective. Now, go get some sleep, Lassiter. You look almost as bad as O'Hara." Juliet's jaw dropped in surprise at the playful jab and Lassiter snorted. The Chief smiled, pleased she was able to lighten the mood. "Dismissed," She said, waving them out.

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_Well, did you like this one? I hope so! Sorry it's a little shorter, but this is my exam week. _

_Anyway, thank you for reading!_

_-claire_


	4. Chapter 4

**A Memory's Just a Memory, After All**

**Warning**: Domestic Violence, Mention of Attempted Rape, Bad Words

**Pairings**: Shassie and Gules – both are established relationships.

**Note**: Oh my Lord. Ooooh my Lord. I am the worst human being on the planet. After my exams I got sucked into the holiday season, and then after that into my new semester and that held my attention up until three weeks ago. Since then I have no excuse besides that I wasn't in Psych-mode because of the extended hiatus. I am so so so sorry, guys. That's all I can say. I just suddenly developed a life. I also know this is a little shorter, but I'm just trying to get something else out there for you guys. Hopefully it will not take me six freaking months again before I update this again –shakes head in shame–

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 4**

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At the sound of the front door opening, Shawn jerked his head up (a little too fast, he thought, as dizziness hit him). "Lassie!" He said, a big smile on his lips. "You were gone for all of _Aladdin_!"

"Oh, how will I survive?" He joked, slipping off his jacket and walking towards the couch. He laid the coat on the back of it as Shawn started to sit up. Lassiter slipped onto the cushion that had just been holding Shawn's head and pulled him back down so he was lying in the detective's lap.

"Mmm, hello there." Shawn smiled up at his boyfriend, clearly content with his new position.

"Hello back." Lassiter smiled down at him, starting to sift his fingers through Shawn's hair. "What are you guys watching now?"

"_Lion King_."

"No, Shawn, I told you, we are NOT watching _Lion King_!"

"Well, just 'cause you don't want to cry."

"Damn straight I don't want to cry!"

"Dude, every Disney movie is gonna make you cry so let's just watch it."

"Shawn. No."

"C'mon…I'm sick, you have to do what I say."

"What about _Hercules_?" Lassiter offered, causing the two friends to turn and look at him.

"Good one! I love that movie!" Gus said, starting to search through the cupboard that held all of the Spencer's movies. Gus pulled out the VHS and headed for the VCR as Shawn turned to Lassiter.

"You just like that one because it was the first movie we watched together in the house."

Lassiter feigned ignorance, though a smile was fighting to be seen. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mhmm." Shawn smirked, before readjusting himself so he was facing the TV with his head still in the detective's lap.

As the movie started to play, Shawn felt himself starting to drift off. Lassiter's rough, yet still somehow soft, hand playing with his hair was really what set him off, and soon his eyes were closed and he was dead to the world.

"_C'mon, baby, just a quickie." Derek said, placing his beer on the end table before he snaked his arms around Shawn's waist and started kissing his neck. He seemed to be completely ignoring the fact Shawn was trying to pull his shoes on._

"_Derek – no – c'mon, stop." Shawn shrugged Derek off, bending over to pick up his shoes. _

_Derek pulled back, he was silent for a moment, before haughtily asking, "What, you goin' off to fuck Guster or something?"_

_Shawn's neck snapped up almost painfully fast, "What?" He cried, shoes on but untied. "No! Why would you think-?"_

"_I'm not _blind_, Shawn! You're always spending time with him! You think I don't realize you're _fucking _him behind my back? You think I'm _stupid_?" He had Shawn by the shoulders now, shaking him a little on each emphasized word. _

_Fear filled Shawn's chest. He tried to keep it masked, but his eyes gave him away. "No, Derek, I swear-" _

"_Why else wouldn't you want to fuck me? It's been two days since we had sex! You're clearly getting it from somewhere else!" Derek had the crazed look in his eye, like he always did when he had one beer too many._

"_I'm just tired!" Shawn said desperately. _

_Derek snorted, letting his arms drop. "Yea, right, that's the oldest lie in the fucking _book_." _

"_No, really, I just want to go home and sleep. I'm not even going to see Gus toni-"_

"_Don't say his name!" Derek screamed, backhanding his boyfriend. Shawn crashed into the wall at the force of the blow, tears quickly forming in the twenty-two-year-old's eyes. _

"_Derek, I-"_

"_Get in there!" Derek snarled, pushing Shawn towards the bedroom. Shawn grabbed the door frame for support and didn't move. Derek gave him another hard push and Shawn fell next to the bed. _

"_Derek, stop!" He screamed. "Think about what you're do-"_

"_You can't say no to me!" Derek picked Shawn up by the shoulders and threw him onto the bed. "You're my boyfriend, you _fuck_ when I say we _fuck_!" _

"_Derek, stop it!" Shawn screeched, but his boyfriend was clearly not going to listen. Derek flipped him over and started to unzip his pants. "STOP IT!" Shawn screamed, kicking as hard as he could. He ended up kicking Derek hard in the face. The dark-skinned man went crashing back, motionless for a second. _

_In a fit of panic, Shawn ran without thinking. Everything his father had taught him kicked in like autopilot. He bolted out the door, just as he heard Derek literally _roar_ in rage. Shawn took the stairs, jumping down each flight as he went. He could hear his tormentor's (no longer could he be called 'boyfriend') pounding feet behind him. _

_Shawn had literally never been this scared in his life. Sure, Derek would slap him around, and he knew that wasn't ok, he understood that. But he just couldn't leave. No one else would want a real relationship with a fuck-up like him. Maybe a quick one-night-stand, but no one would ever really love him. So he'd settle for Derek, and he'd accept the slapping and the mood swings. _

_Or at least, he had. But not now. Not tonight. _

_There was something in Derek's eye, something crazier – scarier – than the normal had-too-much-to-drink Derek. He was in a rage. He was literally out for blood. But Shawn wasn't going to give it to him. He was going to fucking _live_, no more being pushed around._

_Filled with a new sense of fight, Shawn pumped his legs harder. Once outside he pulled his keys from his pocket and went right to his bike. He could hear the door fly open and Derek yelled, "Shawn, get back here!" He started the bike before he had his helmet on. Soon he was moving, directing the bike with one hand and haphazardly pulling on his helmet with the other. _

_Shawn zoomed from the parking lot, leaving Derek in the dust. He drove for several minutes, not knowing where he was going. Before he knew it, he was sitting in a gas station parking lot, carefully hidden from street view by an SUV. _

_His heart was pounding as he hit speed-dial 3. He waited for the answer, his breath coming out in puffs. Then, finally, "Hello?" Upon hearing his dad's voice all the fight and fire in him disappeared and he was no longer a fighting man but just a boy who wanted his daddy. _

_And Shawn really wanted his daddy. _

"_Dad," He all but sobbed out. _

"_Shawn?"_

"Shawn?"

Shawn's eyes shot open, he turned his head to see Lassiter looking down at him, worried. "Lass?"

"Shawn, are you ok?" Shawn turned his head to see the credits rolling on the screen.

"I'm fine, why?"

"You were moaning, you looked…distressed." Lassiter said, clearly looking for the right word. "Were you dreaming about…the fire?"

Shawn pushed himself up into a sitting position, glancing over at Gus who held a similar concerned look. "I-I—yeah. Yeah, the fire." Shawn wasn't about to confess the worst night of his life to his boyfriend and best friend. He couldn't let them carry that burden, he would carry it alone. Not even his father knows all the details. Sure, it had been in his statement and in his court statement. But…no one could know those feelings he felt. That pure fear for your life, that completely terrified feeling. No one could feel that vicariously. And he didn't want them to.

"What Disney movie are we gonna watch next?" He asked, changing the subject. Gus got a look on his face, but let it pass and went to find a different tape. Lassiter didn't hide his look.

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" Lassiter asked quietly, looking almost sad.

Shawn smiled lovingly at his sweet, sweet boyfriend. He felt a pang of guilt for lying, but just pushed it aside. "I know, baby. Don't worry." He leaned into the detective, resting his head on Lassiter's shoulder. "Don't worry."

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It was a tiny sound that woke him. A sound most people would have written off as the wind, maybe a car outside. A sound most people wouldn't have even been woken up by.

But Carlton Lassiter wasn't most people. He heard the sound, and he was awake, he was alert.

A couple scenarios played in Lassiter's mind: Maybe Henry just got up to go to the bathroom. Or maybe Gus decided to stop by in the middle of the night and tripped on something downstairs….

Or maybe there's someone in the house planning to kill them all in their sleep.

Slowly getting out of bed – both to not wake Shawn and not to alert the intruder – he grabbed his gun from the nightstand and tip-toed to the door. Taking a few deep breaths to prepare himself he counted to three and then pushed the door open slowly, trying to not make any noise with this door and it's propensity to squeak. _We really should oil those hinges. We don't want burglars and/or potential killers knowing we're awake and on to them simply because of squeaky doors._

With the door open, Lassiter poked his head out slightly and glanced up and down the hall. It was dark, but his adjusted eyes couldn't make out any figures or movement in the blackness. He slowly made his way to the stairs, trying to listen for any sounds or movement from the floor below. Several long moments went by and he didn't hear anything. No more groans from the old floorboards or quiet footsteps on the stairs. He was just about to give up and go back to bed when he heard another squeak, but it didn't come from downstairs as he was anticipating.

It came from behind him.

He spun around, expecting/hoping to get Shawn or Henry asking what he was doing out of bed and with his gun at-the-ready. What he got was a hand slapping his gun from his grip, a fist to the face, and a searing pain in his arm as what felt suspiciously like a hunter's knife stabbed into his bicep. He tried to cry out but a hand slapped over his mouth just as the knife ripped through and out of his arm.

"You shouldn't play with toys that aren't yours." An eerie voice whispered harshly right in his ear. Lassiter could feel the warmth of the intruder's breath on his ear and neck, but couldn't see the person's face.

The hand over his mouth pushed his head hard backwards, knocking him from his knees (when did he get on his knees?) to his back. There was a creepy chuckle and the intruder stepped over him and down the stairs. Lassiter tried to catch his breath, tried to get his brain working. He told himself to get up and tackle the intruder (or at least get a look at them). He told himself to call out to someone, anyone, but his arm felt like it was on fire - the intense pain was downright debilitating.

Soon his vision started to blacken and the last thing he heard before he passed out was the sound of the front door thumping shut.

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_Thank you for reading despite the fact I'm a schmuck for not updating!_

_-claire_


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